Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
