whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize