Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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