Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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