I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
