We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
