when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
