somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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