i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
