you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
