When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just want nice things and good sex
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize