Do you still have your period?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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