My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
