Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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