just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You took a bar mat shot.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
