capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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