I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
