If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
