508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
