Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
