my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I could fuck to npr.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
