im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
