I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
