One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
