I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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