Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
