So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
