Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
