Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My penis needs a shock collar
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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