Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
