Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
time to smoke my breakfast
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
