her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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