i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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