the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize
