Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
