is your mom at the bar?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
