glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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