Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
