tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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