there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
