You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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