This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
