Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
