i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
