fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
