i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
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