I just made out with a guy for $7.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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