I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
