he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
