I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize