Dual....:-)
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
