I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
