if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
