he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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