so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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