Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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