Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
