btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
