i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
