I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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