I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
